Baby Speed

These days pregnancy has been teaching me a thing or two about the speed of life. While having a small son has kept me closer to home, I still tend to accomplish quite a bit in a day. Now with baby sister on the way and an incurable back pain that's due to last until she comes, things have changed a bit. While I can still do most things, they take me much longer and I can't do near as much in a day.

For starters, Mommy can't always carry Junior up to his room or to the potty or the car. That means he has had to learn how to obey when I ask him to come or hold his hand and lead him somewhere. He's still not perfect at his, and getting childcare tasks done takes longer, but it's great training for being an older brother and being obedient in general.

Then there's the issue of housework. Sweeping, cooking, laundry and grocery shopping all involve some element of back-strain which I never really noticed before. I do now! So I make a week-long plan of what I can accomplish on each day to make sure the house gets cared for and I can pace myself to the limitations of my back. This means more discipline for me. I really do have to stick to the plan or I won't be able to keep on top of everything. Making it up later isn't really a great option right now.

So that means less going and doing the 'fun' stuff. I hate to say 'no' to a weekend away with friends or a trip to the pumpkin patch, but the fact is that I can't handle those things right now. It's back to the basics. It's a little frustrating because I know that once the baby comes I'll be more bound to home anyway. I was really hoping to enjoy the freedom of my son's one-nap schedule, but we're not so fancy-free as I would like.

And then there are those delicious moments when my husband is home. Fortunately, he is wonderful and willing to help by bringing me things or taking our son potty for me or lifting heavy things for me and gives my back a needed break on the weekends. Unfortunately, this means less 'us' time and slower progress on 'his' projects.

So what's the point of my woe? Learning, of course! Parenting has this delicious way of pulling out our selfishness and helping us mature. I have to slow down. I have to accept my limits. I have to ask for help. Grr. I have to be humble.

As I am training our 19 month old to do more on his own, I am seeing a lot of benefits. He is getting better training on obedience because he has so many opportunities to practice it when I don't pick him up and essentially obey for him. He has actually become quite helpful, throwing things in the trash for me or picking things up off the ground that are hard to reach.

And surely my husband is learning a lot about "respecting the wife as the weaker vessel" as he takes on so many of 'my' jobs on the weekends and after work. Practice at selflessness always does people good (though he is already quite good at it, in my opinion).

So, am I in a position to give any advice? Well, life isn't always easy when you're limited, but slowing down brings into focus a lot of rich moments. If you take a moment to just notice how much your husband does for you or talk your kids through accomplishing a task you might normally do for them, you might gain a new appreciation for your family too.

Photo originally uploaded by National Media Museum
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